Lose-Lose
—an excerpt—
Pixelated with stars, the night sky’s an arcade game. Sleepless at seventeen, rewinding mix tapes, forever hoping I’d someday glow ultraviolet, become a celestial body. Nova heart, sunspots in the eyes: clutching for cosmic strings, for something to believe in. Like the moon, existing divided by phases and cycles of hope.
***
‘Can I help you with something?’ When I turned, there was Haven Westfield. No one else in
the store. Tricia, my best friend, was supposed to come with me, but her boyfriend cancelled plans with his friends to see her and she’d said ‘Lia, do you mind if—’
Recognized Haven’s easy smile from the halls of our small southern Ontario high school, Our Lady of Peace. Still in my school uniform. Grey wool kilt pinned at the side, navy crewneck sweater. Westfield’s Fine Jewellery and China, where I’d gone for a gift. Narrow aisles packed with Waterford crystal, Royal Doulton ladies shrouded in dust. Gold charms, wedding rings, bone china, silverware, butter knives, sugar spoons. Handwritten signs: you break it, you buy it.
This was before what happened with the girls. Then he was just a boy from school I’d never spoken to. There was an entire room for Royal Doulton figurines and he was standing in the doorway.
